When I was 16 years old, I was pregnant unknowingly, and had a miscarriage in my room without telling anyone. In school, I was never taught about the repercussions needed after going through such a thing. I didn’t really understand why that happened to me. I remember watching videos on celibacy but never in protective actions taken prior to having sex.
Don’t be scared. Tell someone. It is okay to have sex and it is okay if it happens unprotected.
Your body rejects something before your mind even knows of its existence. Listen to your body, trust your gut if you think something is off, and don’t be afraid to ask for resources.
When I was in High School, my boyfriend at the time stealthed me (removed the condom during sex without my consent or noticing), and it, unbeknownst to me, caused a pregnancy. A couple months later while at school, I started to get violently ill at school. My vision was blurry, I was nauseous, and I began having trouble walking. We didn’t have a nurse that day, so I had to wait out the school day. By the time I got home, I started having extreme cramps, and started bleeding profusely. I bled through the night, and was in extreme pain. I had a 100 degree fever. My parents determined I had the flu, and wouldn’t take me to the hospital. I didn’t know any better, so I went with it. It wasn’t until I got to college and started receiving health care from my own doctor that I realized I had miscarried.
Go to the emergency room. Extreme pain is not normal, it is not acceptable, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to protect your health.
Self defense classes were great for me. Once I felt formidable, it was easier to allow people access to me and my body. Being open about white coat fear with my friends has also been helpful, because I can depend on them to bring me to a doctor or urge me to get medical care when I am hesitant on my own.
Giving birth is overwhelming and chaotic and foreign and strange. You can prepare for it, but no amount of preparation compares to being in the hospital room in labor. Both of my labor and deliveries were fairly uneventful. What I found jarring was the after care. I was being given important information and instructions moments after giving birth. I couldn't recall this hours or days later while in immense pain and discomfort. My newborns had excellent care; my husband and I felt prepared to care for them thanks the hospital staff. I wish, however, I had received more personalized and focused care after delivering.It had a big impact in the weeks following my deliveries. This still has a slight impact on my current day-to-day as I had tears when giving birth, but don't recall the degrees
I would have liked more personalized care in the hospital, and during follow-up OBGYN appointments. In the hospital, I didn't receive much care — focus was on the newborn. At my 6-week follow-up with my OBGYN, I had to ask for a physical examination. I wasn't given specific instructions on how to care for my body, post-pregnancy/delivery or my pelvic floor. Having that information would have helped tremendously.
I'm unsure I've overcome it. If I were to give birth again, I would be better equipped to ask the appropriate questions and make sure I understood *exactly* what physical impacts I'd have from that specific labor + delivery. For example, what degree tear I had, and then what I would need to do to help recover, in the short and long term.
